Bad Mouthing Your Parents

Sometimes when we start talking about family patterns of dysfunction, people start getting nervous. They’re afraid to bad mouth their parents, even in private, even to a single person bound to confidentially legally and ethically. They make excuses, they hem and haw, they rush to assure me, “But they tried their best” or “I’m not perfect either.”

No, of course you’re not perfect. Who is? And I’m sure they tried their best because most people do but that doesn’t meant that their best was good enough for you and you are allowed to acknowledge that. Let me say this slowly and clearly — YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE CRITICAL OF YOUR PARENTS. It’s not bad mouthing someone to talk crit