So I was watching Martha Stewart

life is now neon signage

I don’t really feel one way or another about Martha Stewart because I’m not crafty and I’m not interested in having the best most perfect ice cubes on the block, which is also why I don’t read many magazines and why I have never done a very good job of hanging out on Pinterest. But anyway, […]

Don’t exercise to lose weight

woman in short hair wearing floral dress

If you’re exercising to lose weight, please stop. No, not the exercise part, the exercising to lose weightpart. It’s a change in mindset. We all have bodies that respond to life choices by coming to a particular weight set point and sometimes when we begin or increase an exercise routine that means weightloss. But not for […]

Therapists don’t have crystal balls

crystal ball

As clients we’re vulnerable. It’s on my mind right now because yesterday I met with a colleague and we discussed a couple of situations where a therapist said, “If you don’t do X than Y and Z will happen.” As in, “If you don’t make these changes I recommend, you will get divorced.” Or, “If you continue to allow your […]

When the news is overwhelming

person in blue denim jeans holding white magazine

When I brought my newborn baby son home from the hospital we had a broken TV; it took at least 30 minutes to warm up. I was sleeping out on the futon in the living room of our tiny one bedroom apartment and I was leaving the television on all night, muted, so that when the […]

Breaking Free from the Prison of Intrusive Thoughts

woman in gray sweater seating on chair

Intrusive thoughts are the unwelcome, uninvited ugly thoughts that skitter through our heads now and then. Everyone has them. Think about a time when you stood on a balcony and thought, “What if I jump?” That’s an intrusive thought. (Note: Other than this example I won’t be listing other intrusive thoughts because folks who are […]

Anxiety is a Dirty Rotten Liar

grayscale photo of woman covering her face with her hands

Anxiety loves to tell lies. Anxiety likes to stand behind you and reinterpret the world in a negative way. Someone tells you that they like your shirt? Anxiety whispers in your ear, “They just feel bad for you leaving the house looking like that.” Anxiety blows it all up and makes everything worse. Anxiety is […]

Ask for What You Need and Want

woman in white vest and black bikini with hand on chest

So many of us have internalized the idea that if we want something or if we need something it is, by definition, unnecessary. If we want it, it must be superfluous, right? Or maybe we are trying to win points (with who? our partner? our kids? the universe?) for denying ourselves so that we will be rewarded […]

This post is not about cake

Once upon a time there was a nice person who worried about being a nice person. And this person wanted cake.

Cover Emotions

One of the things that gets in the way of developing core resiliency in emotional regulation is not knowing how in the heck we actually feel.

Feeling Like Too Much

I’ve been thinking about many of us got the message from our families that we are way too much. I think about this as a parent because I sometimes become overwhelmed when my kids are especially needy (and aren’t they always needy when we’re feeling extra needy ourselves?) and one more tearful episode threatens to push […]