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Tag: lovable

I am Lovable: Resiliency in Relationships

The second part of resiliency is healthy, supportive relationships that tell us that we are lovable.

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Ok so your kid is flipping out with worry and you

Ok so your kid is flipping out with worry and you want to do whatever it takes to help them calm down including skipping the thing that's scaring them in the first place. Wait. Before you do that, try these statements instead. Will they work? Well, they're likely not going to stop them from feeling scared but they do tell them that you are with them in the struggle, that you believe in them, and that even if your insides or going flippity-flop your outsides are conveying your confidence in their abilities.

Oh the urge to save our children from the uncertai

Oh the urge to save our children from the uncertainties of the world is so so strong! And when we can't do it (because we're human, not super human) oh boy is the guilt big. Please know that your job isn't always to leap in and save them, it's really to be there with them in the struggle.
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You are a good parent even if your child is having a hard time. ❤️

Intrusive thoughts are those bizarre, sometimes em

Intrusive thoughts are those bizarre, sometimes embarrassing, often silly and occasionally disturbing thoughts like, "What if I stuck this fork in that light socket?" "What if I just spun my wheel and drove off the bridge?" "What if I just got up and kissed my boss?" It might be a picture that flashes in our mind or a word or phrase.
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These intrusive thoughts are NORMAL. They don't mean we WANT to do those things or even that we're in danger of doing those things. They are random, disconnected, and meaningless, which is why most of us can let 'em pass by. "That's weird," we think then shrug and move on.
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But if a child has OCD then they have those thoughts get STUCK. They start to worry, "Is something wrong with me? Who would think such a thing? Is it possible I subconsciously DO want to do that?" The thoughts can cause deep shame or fear. Some children might not want to tell parents their thoughts ("They're just bad thoughts") the say because the thought is SO AWFUL. Other children will NEED to tell their parents their thoughts to get them out of their head.
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If this is happening in YOUR house then it's time to get help. Therapy with a trained OCD therapist will be a big help to your child and joining my membership for friendship and support will be a big help to you. ❤️

And because I'm a #childanxiety account, I'm going

And because I'm a #childanxiety account, I'm going to add that instead of saying, "Don't be afraid" or "Don't worry" or "You don't have to do it", we can say, "It's ok to be afraid. I'm here with you." Acceptance of feelings is the first step to dealing with those feelings. Dealing with those feelings means taking care of them and learning to sit in the discomfort of being a human and doing hard things. ❤️
#fridayswithfred

These are all signs that your child might be strug

These are all signs that your child might be struggling with obsessive compulsive disorder. If your child has OCD then they need therapy and YOU need a support system to help you help your child.
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When you're looking for a therapist make sure it's someone who understands where your child or teen is developmentally and that they have training in exposure responsive prevention, a specialized CBT that research shows is most effective in treating OCD.
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And when you're looking for a community, check out Child Anxiety Support. My membership offers you psychoeducation based on the SPACE program designed by Dr Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center with specialized support and access to other workshops and courses to enhance your ability to be the best parent you can be to your child with OCD.
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Have questions? Let me know!

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