Does my therapist care about me?

paper heart on light pink background

When I was in my late teens I began seeing a counselor because I was depressed. I was taking a full load of undergrad classes at OSU and working 40 hours a week and living by myself without roommates or family for the first time ever. My weekly visits to Barbara (my therapist) quickly became […]

Learning to listen

cheerful woman having video call via laptop

In my training to be a therapist we’d have labs where we would do pretend therapy with each other. We would sit in triads and one of us would be the pretend client, one of us would be the pretend therapist and the other would observe. The pretend therapist was supposed to practice her therapy […]

The Myth of Closure

woman in black long sleeve shirt lying on white wooden table

Wouldn’t it be great if we could neatly close out chapters in our lives before moving onto the next one? You know, resolve all relationship issues and put lingering conflicts with family to rest and take a nice predictable staircase up to enlightenment? Unfortunately life doesn’t work like that especially because our ideas about closure […]

The Betrayal of Change

person holding a green plant

We don’t live in a vacuum. Our choices impact the people we love and the people we live with just as their choices impact us.

When Your Reality is Wrong

grayscale photo of woman covering her face with her hand

Awhile back I was talking to someone who was telling me about her exercise-induced asthma. She described the feeling of her chest tightening up and her breath cutting off when she ran without her inhaler and that for a long time she thought that’s just how exercise is. It wasn’t until she was talking to […]

To Heck with Self Improvement

Growth assumes that change is natural and built into us; improvement has the sound of failure, like not good enough.

Lost in Space

I invite you to consider what family constructs you’d like to set down. What has you tied to the earth that you no longer need?

My Inner Critic

My original plan was to write You Are Not Your Mother as a book and last year I committed to it by going to a writing retreat led by Jen Louden (author of The Woman’s Comfort Book and most recently, Why Bother). The retreat was fantastic, Jen is incandescent and I learned a lot (plus […]