Tolerance isn’t always healthy

woman wearing black camisole

If you’ve had a complicated childhood chances are you’ve been told you’re too sensitive. Maybe you’ve been called a worry wart, a crybaby, impossible, annoying or been told, “I’ll give you something to cry about!” You may have learned how to swallow your hiccoughing tears, ignore your terror. Maybe even now as an adult you […]

Gimme Gimme Gimme

shallow focus photography of gray bowl

I have been thinking lately about scarcity and how it drives hunger.

The Betrayal of Change

person holding a green plant

We don’t live in a vacuum. Our choices impact the people we love and the people we live with just as their choices impact us.

Bad Mouthing Your Parents

Sometimes when we start talking about family patterns of dysfunction, people start getting nervous. They’re afraid to bad mouth their parents, even in private, even to a single person bound to confidentially legally and ethically.

Uniting in Negativity

In dysfunctional families parents want to keep the children small to keep them safe or so they can continue to feel powerful.

Lost in Space

I invite you to consider what family constructs you’d like to set down. What has you tied to the earth that you no longer need?

Estrangement Runs in My Family

I grew up with estrangement. My mom periodically was not speaking to her mom or to this sibling or that. My grandmother was periodically estranged from family members. And now I am estranged from my mom. Estrangement is not uncommon in families rooted in trauma. There is an “us vs. them” mentality that comes with […]

When your child has a borderline grandmother

When you have a complicated relationship with your mother, it’s that much harder to navigate your child’s relationship with her. Whether or not your child has a borderline grandmother (or grandfather) or another kind of family dysfunction, I hope this post will give you insight. The neglectful grandparent When grandparents have been neglectful parents pattern […]